Nude Beach - How does this help me land??
C172 — N821SD — North Perry Hollywood, FL — T&Go's, Go-arounds, Gusty Winds, 12 Landings — 1.9 hrs
"Let's take a quick flight out over the Nude beach." my instructor says to me.
My first thoughts of course were; "So what's a nude beach got to do with landing a damn Cessna?? Nothing." So we go all the way out to the coast, just to prove the point and catch the view.
Well you know me, there's more to any lesson than meets the eye (literally in this case), and of course I got to thinking...
Q. Why do we have orgasms?
A. How else would we know when to stop?
I mean at first "glance," logically, obviously, beyond a nice tan with no tan lines, a nude beach would serve little to no purpose for a student pilot. At a nude beach there's not much to view; even at 100 ft AGL in a helicopter hovering perfectly still, one wouldn't get much visual detail. If you wanna peep something properly, you wanna land, get out, and get up close. Duh.
But my loopy instructor felt it would help me remember my lesson; the idea perhaps... "Every lesson has a sexual reminder," you know? Clever really; "Mischievous Pilots," "Erotic Aviation," "Pornographic Flying School," "Fly the Sexy Skies," "RandyAir," "Voyeurs in the Wind," "Learn to Fly Here---and more," or something.
I love that line of the dirty old man, Jethro Tull's classic lyrics; "Eyeing little girls with bad intent, Hey Aqualung!"
It's creative, I'll give you that; to mix flying lessons with nudity or even pornography. How about a little real "pleasure" reward for every well-done flight lesson? I mean if you're gonna take an idea like this, then take it all the way, no? Given adequate consent and accessories, it would work for either gender, monogamous or not.
Not sure the FAA would approve of this creativity in the approach to student pilot training, but I'll bet the students would be lined up.
Nudity. Exhibitionism. What is pornography anyway? By definition, noun; printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement; writings, pictures, films, etc, designed to stimulate sexual excitement. Explicit: stated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt.
Huh, well that's about every damn movie made these days. Gotta have the gratuitous shower scene with the main stars, can't shoot the pretty girl's face without the breasts in the frame, even guys hairy butts are on film with reckless abandon. Oh please, cover that, somebody!
Yeah sex sells, but really, learning retention aside, the nude beach was just the distraction that the instructor felt was an important addition to both the lesson and his own sexual fantasies.
Geez, get laid already.
But the lesson of the flight was what it was; Hold an altitude just above the runway in landing configuration till the plane stalls.
It's a stall, nude or not. So now every time I land I think of pretty girls on a nude beach. Got it.
I'm good with that I guess.